(I do not
intend to be disrespectful.)
Her nose is
big and she knows it. Mine is just half of what she has on the middle of her
face.
I don’t
have to define in detail how big it really is. I give you the freedom to
imagine.
Imagine the
volume of air entering her nose all at once. Or what else could get inside her
nose? We do not know.
Imagine the degree of air
blowing my hair away during her exhalation, which is not rare. Most especially
when she’s exasperated or when she’s attacked by her surprisingly childish
tantrums in spite of her age, which by the way, happens almost every time we
meet.
How monstrous could the Big
Nose Monster get?
A BIG (nose) SIGH FROM ME.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate her because of her immeasurable nose. That’s superficial.
Now let me tell you the
story...
She used to be somebody I
look up to. She’s eloquent in words. She always made sure she is presentable in
class. She had lots of beautiful plans for her students. I saw her interest and
passion in her profession. There was happiness in her eyes when she was
teaching, although she did not bother to express them in words. She knew what
she was doing.
But all my praises turned
into cuss words when the model professor I used to admire became different.
Different in the sense that she lost her “built-in” enthusiasm that I noticed during
the first few months since I met her.
Her attendance in class can
now be counted. Or if she comes in class, she’s late. She is whiny and
sleepy!!! Class activities are now passed through email. The true sense of open
class discussions and pop quizzes deteriorates.
Well, it could have been
better that way, whether I get a grade lower than the average or higher. Better
that way, whether I come to class prepared or clueless. I don’t care. Better
that way than this way when her lack of enthusiasm affects me and brings out
the worst of what I could become.
I lose the eagerness of
coming to her class. I refuse to listen to what she tells us. I always find the
lessons lacking. The discussions only reach the surface level of every topic being
argued about. Huh, my mind is not on a diet to deserve this kind of teaching! Leftovers
--- seems like she dwells on issues we’ve already gotten used to. No more thrill.
All those become tasteless. Food for the brain? Not anymore, but poison.
Just earlier, I remember her
say, “Thanks to the previous classes for making your lives easier.” Fine. Thank
you previous classes.
Another BIG (nose) SIGH. How
I wish I could thank her as well. But I just can’t find enough reason to do so.
Right now.
What has she done to our
lives? She took the joy out of us. Took the joy out of learning. By the way, I
want it clear. I am not looking for ease. Neither am I looking for complication.
I want a little bit or maybe too much of both. Just both. And since she became
different, as I mentioned above, the highs and lows are gone. She had created a
pattern I always come to figure out and sadly, get worn out with. I want it
unpredictable. I want it fun...like the old days? I hope she could remember.
Whew! Well, she has her own
reason why such is such. Internal clash maybe? Or perhaps some environmental
consequences she chose to keep for herself? But without hypocrisy, whatever
nightmare she’s in right now, I want her to wake up and realize there’s still a
world that awaits her, real world for that matter--- crash out of course the
creatures she has seen in her bad dreams.
I think the Big Nose Monster
is not really that bad. She just had forgotten how to be good. Or it could be
that she’d gotten tired of being good and took a little break. Or she just
wanted to try something new for a while. Or... So on and so forth. Point is, she
can’t be like that forever.
At the end of the day, the
Big Nose Monster continues to breathe.
And it still remains a
mystery what else could get inside a nose as big as hers.
