The Legend of the Big Nose Monster: Star, Darkness, Etc.

So, now I am the star. Thanks for giving me the fame I never asked for.

I did not expect this to reach this level. I thought the Big Nose Monster was just part of a delusion. I thought she only existed in my imagination that in a given snap, she will disappear. I was too confident I thought she was a nightmare I could always escape by waking up. ‘Lo and behold! I thought I was the only one fighting against this silent battle. But then I learned she has gotten ready her troupe, anytime ready to attack me.

I’m aware of the things I did in her class, most especially the things I didn’t. I am a big fan of the golden rule anyway; that could be the reason. "Do not do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you." Whatever is given to me, I give back all the same, particularly if it leans on the negative side.

However, that one day when I did not show up in class, I felt something was different. I was told she discussed about my shortcomings; without my presence, that is, in front of the whole class. The Big Nose Monster acted like a villain pretending to show concern for me, but pulling me down anyway, slowly all at the same time. While I was away and quiet, she destroyed me as she projected her self-destruction to me, perhaps wanting a companion in a destruction she enjoyed so much. So she told my classmates about this and that about me. So much the same with how I talk about her in front of them, then. The only difference is, they agree with me. I don’t know with her. Well, I’m not really sure, but who would not want to assume? So with that, I guess the feeling is neutral. So OK. We hate each other.

My classmates tell me to give in to her just in the few remaining months for the semester and try to prove her wrong about her perception about me. But then I answer, “If I do it, if do better in class, will it really bring some change?” I don’t think so. My image has been distorted inside her brain, so much like hers in mine. Yeah. I have my weaknesses. I do not deny that. But this is not my fault alone. Both of us contributed a conflict in this commotion.

But I’m not giving up. The moment I knew she was fighting back, I have decided to make the fight worth it. Seldom do I engage in situations like this - might as well aim for victory.

Don’t ever ask me why. The only answer you will get is: “Why not?”

When a star is born, it doesn’t really shine its brightest all at once. It waits until it grows. And when it does, its glow will even be brighter than what is expected.

Watch out. I will be that star. She wanted me to be one. Then I will be.